Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Saddam goes on Trial

-Gibbering old Despot to Face Music, 'In good spirits'-

The first Video started broadcast at 0940 GMT but there was no sound, just a piercing high pitched whine. They led the defendants in one at a time, Saddam was led in last. He was carrying a Qur'an and looking in fit and well. When the Judge, Mohammed Amin, asked him to identify himself for the court, he stood up and got belligerent. He quoted from the Book, he defended his status as President, he refused to give his name or acknowledge the authority of the court.
He was asked to sit down and the next defendant was asked to stand and identify himself. This man informed the judge that their head-dresses had been confiscated by guards. The judge ordered the head-dresses to be brought in and returned to the defendants.

There then followed a very long Pause.

10 minutes later...

They finally get their head coverings. Everyone appears much more relaxed now. Saddam looks like a hunted fox, sharp, almond colored eyes gone dark with contempt, alert and quick. A spark of defiance left in the old man?
But I mean there is no sympathy for the damned. This man is a terrible, ruthless, tyrant, a twisted and savage product of some of the worst idea's that people ever came up with. A last remnant of the late 20th century when rebellion was fun and dictatorship a fashionable pass time in, what was then called, the "third-world". He's a relic, a hold over from the archaic hard-line days of Stalin and Pinochet and Papa Doc Duvalier, and, now, he serve no purpose, like a vestigial tail, or the male nipple. He serves no purpose at all anymore,
Like a sullen child, when asked to identify himself, he threw a tantrum. He's afraid and he has every reason to be afraid. His day has come and he knows it. The eyes of the world can see, in magnificent tape delay, the way this scoundrel squirms. The judge looked amused. Saddam looked weary and cornered.
They're replaying that segment now. They should get new ones every 30 mins. I need a drink

1028 gmt

The second tape is coming in now. No one seems to be translating it and MSN video stopped carrying it. Not much is going on there just the 8 defendants are standing up and identifying themselves.

"I will not recognize a court built on falsehoods"- Saddam Hussein, this morning.

Well, this is not going to be easy. Consider that Saddam has a plethora of charges against him which could span the length of several trials. He racked up quite a rap sheet since 1968.

Oh and now the judge has asked them to sign a power of attorney for their lawyers can speak for them. Saddam looked shifty when they said that.


There's whispers of postponement, that the defense will ask for 6 months, but a co-defendant argues for them to find Nagib Moustafa, his lawyer. He was detained by the Americans at the airport, he said. A very patient judge told the man to sit down and it seems like they're trying to find out why everyone else's lawyer is present and not his.
Crazy with fear, now, they are grasping at straws. You can see it in their eyes, the shock of being treated like criminals, the indignant slowly fading to the realization of the doomed.

They're sitting in a pen, a corral, like a big crib. Bars, to keep them from falling out of their chairs and onto the floor, babbling with terror and naming names.
The talking heads are not sure whether to treat this a little like the OJ trial or shoot the moon, but they're trying to make sense of it all. The charges have been read: Killing, murder, forced expulsion, torture, removing or forcing of movement of population, imprisonment and harsh imprisonment, etc...And then they read him Law 406, which states that the death penalty goes to anyone who kills intentionally.
There it is, my Freaky Darlings. Death is on the line, and for these men and there will be no escaping it.

1102 gmt
Jimmy Carter once said "The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world." And he was right, for the most part.

(Saddam Please Not Guilty-Innocent...All defendants plead same.
That last bit just came in on Fox...Won't be on the vid for about 20 mins)

This trial, this is global broadcast, coming from a heavily fortified former Baath party headquarters, in the Green Zone in Baghdad, is the first time in Arab History a Leader is being tried for War Crimes. Imagine what those poor bastards on the Arab Street must feel like, right now, watching this. It's Ramadaan over there -A long ass day of fasting- What a way to end the day. To have to watch images of their former Glorious Leader as he gets spanked for all to see on a defendants dock like a common criminal. But it gets worse...Because they can't even have a glass of tea to wash down the bitter bile of resentment, or smoke a stone of tobacco in a water pipe, to let the sound of the bubbling drown the sound of their choked back sobs. Now, that's just cruel.



The vid of the judge reading the charges is in. Much of what they reported before on Fox. Judge basically reads them the Gang Law and told them that they're going to be fighting for their lives here.
This certainly clears up much of the speculation that has circulated for months about how this trial will play out. They are going after him for an incident in Dujail, on Thursday, July 8, 1982, because they have solid evidence on him to convict him. By putting the death penalty on the line, if he/they are found guilty on this matter, then it trumps the others because a man can only die once for any number of crimes.
The judge tried to go one by one and they all pleaded innocent on the charges of the executions.
It gets real quiet in the courtroom after that.
The judge then asks the attorney General to reads the charges. But they lost audio.

1135 gmt

Saddam is looking shiftier and shiftier as the prosecutor makes his opening statements.

1151 am gmt

well, You're on your own on this for the time being, my Freaky Darlings. I need some huevos rancheros and a couple of cold ones to face this kind of savagery in the morning. Let's face it, the AG was no where near as entertaining as Saddam

1215 am gmt

Court adjourned until Nov. 28

Defense has until then to get these guys heads out of the noose.


Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Attack on Smurf Village Leaves Dozens Smurfed

The Work of Gargamel?

Last week a Smurf Village was the target of an unprecedented air raid that left dozens of it's tiny residents smurfed and homeless.

Gargamel, who has lodged several protests with the U.N. over what he calls "an infestation of the most grotesque kind" upon his sovereign territory in the Woods, and who has had his attempts at expelling them smurfed repeatedly, is the chief suspect in the attack.
Smurf press2 Brainy Smurf, who, until now had been heading the Smurf delegation to the peace talks, told a press conference this morning, "We Smurfly protest this insidious and most unsmurfed attack on our homes," and he vowed that the attack "will be met with the swiftest and smurfiest reaction." He, then, left the peace talks, being held at the Castle, to return, with great haste, to the site of the devastation.
The fate of Smurf patriarch and political leader Papa Smurf, who was believed to be in the village at the time of the attack, is not known for certain, however video footage captured by a UNICEF camera crew has shed a grim shadow on his whereabouts. Last year Kofi Annan vowed to help the Smurfs end this decades long territorial dispute.

Balthazar Balthazar, spokesman for Gargamel had this to say: "We are wizards, not bomb builders. This is the work of some other agent or agencies. We categorically deny that this was the work of Gargamel."

Although Gargamel has used all manner of gadgets and spells to expel the Smurfs in past decades this use of heavy ordinance would mark a significant escalation of arms. This has led investigators on a trail of arms suppliers, including putting a freeze on longtime supplier of bombs, anvils and gadgets, Acme Corp.
In a press release, Acme Corp. noted that "Our bombs are for squashing, not blowing up. Although we do provide explosives such as barrels of gun power and dynamite, the only bombs we market are those round things with the hissing fuses."
CA9M0DYY <--An example of the bombs that devistated the Smurf Village.

InvestigationAn investigation into the raid has led Anti-terror operatives to arrest this man:


Major Bludd, formerly of the Cobra corporation has been implicated in several other terror attacks including the kidnapping and subsequent murder of Captain Caveman and a thwarted bomb attempt of the Cartoon Network. Spokesman for the Cobra Corp., Tomax and Xamot,cgcomm deny any involvement with either the attack, or Major Bludd.
"Cobra corporation has nothing to hide," said Tomax. "In this matter," Xamot finished. "We had nothing to do with it." Also, they provided investigators with information linking Major Bludd to this man:Destro%20by%20Battlemonkey
James McCullen Destro XXIV
"Major Bludd had fallen on hard times," says Veritas Military Analyst Gen. Clayton Abernathy (ret.)Veritas Analyst "He was found hiding in a hovel in Bedrock with Monchi-chi hooker and a fifth of cheap rum. In the past he has had close ties with Destro because no one else would have anything to do with him." Said General Abernathy. "Make no mistake, whoever did this will never give, they'll stay til the fight's won."

Investigations are on going and Veritas will keep you posted on further developments as they arise.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

This is good to know...

I'll bet every nation thinks that they have the best military...and far be it from me to disparage that...But, in a world where everyone in the world seems like they're out to get us...From the Raving Islamist killers to packs of Rabid Canadians...Thank God we have The United States Marine Corp

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Orgasmic Simulator

A friend sent this to me. I think it's pretty accurate.