Monday, September 19, 2005

Well Shiver Me Timbers, It's National Talk Like a Pirate Day

Gar! My Freaky Darlings, It's National Talk Like A Pirate day so Indulge your inner pirate. Go forth, Me Hearties, and SPREAD THE WORD! Today you are allowed to tell that annoying bitch in Supply to "Avast or be keel hauled!" and that prick from Sales to "Gar! Be quit of yer moanin n' walk the plank".
Feel free to leap at someone with a rubber knife and demand "Be ye friend or be ye foe?"
Today, make a pact with someone and be "True as the North Star".
Today, sincerely say to someone, "I Like the cut of your jib".
Tell them that the situation is "yar".
Look around all secretive like and offer to "Share me buried tresure, ah will."
If the deal goes sour then invoke "Ten Thousand Thundering Typhoons!" and demand a break for some rum.
Today, Drink Much Rum.
Find six different ways to say the word "Gar!"
SMH Pirates
If anyone says anything about it look at them as if they have insulted your ship, draw a knife and, with a bloodlurdling yell, lunge at their throat...stop at the last moment and ask them to repeat the unsult...pause and break for some blackjacks of grog.
At some point in the day, anounce, with rancour and ire, to someone that you will "see them in Davy Jone's Locker."
Today, when disrobing your partner warn them to "Prepare to be boarded!".
Refer to the moron that cuts you off on your way from work as a "Scurvy dog!"
Remember, my Freaky Ship-Mates, that inside each and everyone last one of you there is a pirate, waiting to break out.
And above all don't forget....
Just exactly what can you do with a Drunken Sailor?
GaR!

3 comments:

erin elizabeth king said...

a pirate walks into a bar.
he's got a large steering wheel stuffed down the front of his knickers.
the bartender looks up and says,
"hey, hasn't that steering wheel been bothering you walking around?"
the pirate replies:
"arrr, it's been drivin' me nuts all day."

Anonymous said...

Erin,

Okay that's A Fantastic Pirate Joke. You Rock.

Anonymous said...

Kid goes out trick or treating for halloween dressed as a pirate. Comes to an old ladys house rings the bell.
The Old lady answers and, as she drops some candy into his bag, she says "Oh my a Pirate. And tell me, Where are your Buckaneers?"

Kids looks at her and says :
"Right here, lady, right under by buckin' Hat."